My comic book hobby was the right choice to make. 

All other media is bullshit.

My comic book hobby was the right choice to make.

All other media is bullshit.

(via vegardingdong)

I made these for my step-sister to use on Etsy without getting a cease and desist order. They may or may not be based on a popular fantasy franchise.

Is it just me, or does G.I. Joe Reject “Sleep Apnea” look a lot like Dan Harmon? 

Is it just me, or does G.I. Joe Reject “Sleep Apnea” look a lot like Dan Harmon? 

Do you want to go in a circle really fast or kind of slow?
Traveling carnivals are the way to go!

Do you want to go in a circle really fast or kind of slow?
Traveling carnivals are the way to go!

For the sake of Buzz Hickey: Here’s an easy way to draw a duckbill when the duck’s back is three quarters turned.

For the sake of Buzz Hickey: Here’s an easy way to draw a duckbill when the duck’s back is three quarters turned.

The thing about this clumsy and long-winded historical joke is that I got to invent the phrase “sneak-crowned”

The thing about this clumsy and long-winded historical joke is that I got to invent the phrase “sneak-crowned”

Third Harmontown fanart D&D Module. Based on Episode #92 “It’s Not Personal, It’s Business” — the one where Dan Harmon ran D&D while impersonating Ice-T.

The Loveable Sharkboy (Age: 22 years-old)

The Loveable Sharkboy (Age: 22 years-old)

Failed bumber stickers for dog lovers.

Failed bumber stickers for dog lovers.

The 1st rule of Plot Twist Club is it’s all a dream.

The 2nd rule of Plot Twist Club is MY DICK IS A BEE!

A Guide to Roleplaying Systems

  • Player: Can I do the thing?
  • Mutants and Masterminds: Yes you can do the thing.
  • GURPS: Fill out these forms in triplicate.
  • Dungeons and Dragons: Yes, but it's really not worth it unless you are a Dream Elf with the Godblooded feat and at least five levels in the Thingomancer Prestige class from Complete Thing. Or you could just play a Wizard, they get The Thing as a 3rd level spell.
  • Call of Cthulu: You can do the thing, but you REALLY don't want to.
  • FATE: That depends, can you bullshit the GM into believing that one of your vaguely-worded aspects supports you doing The thing?
  • 7th Sea: Only if the thing is properly dramatic!
  • Shadowrun: Yes, but you'll need a bathtub full of D6s.
  • Paranoia: The thing is treason.
First two characters done for the third Harmontown Module cover I’m working on based on Episode 92, “It’s not personal, it’s business”
Jeff Davis as a dwarven fighter and Mitch Hurwitz as a Human DWP guy.

First two characters done for the third Harmontown Module cover I’m working on based on Episode 92, “It’s not personal, it’s business”

Jeff Davis as a dwarven fighter and Mitch Hurwitz as a Human DWP guy.

But why a cross?

They have no concept of Christ in a Galaxy Far, Far Away — except for His nearest facsimile, Space Jesus, I.E. Darth Vader. Whom in this continuum isn’t someone who rings true as a fella you’d want to revere in a religious, memorial, or funerary context, being that he’s a walking death machine that straight-up murders subordinates for disappointing him. Subordinates such as Stormtroopers. 

Also, lashing a crossbeam to the vertical pole seems like a good deal of unnessasry effort for a battlefield burial. Which is one of the reasons why you see this kind of burial marker so often represented as a helmet on top of a rifle in War movies and artwork. 

And it’s wasteful of non-lego material in this Lego-fication of the Star Wars Universe. Which might be why they’re using it for their fallen comrade’s memorial, given the rare non-lego stick might be somehow more holy in this context. But if that’s the case, why waste the crossbeam pole on this one solider’s marker when, given the bleakness of the scene, he’s most likely only the first. So why waste two poles on him? If the answer is they have non-lego sticks to spare, well then that detracts from the argument that the scarisity of the non-lego elements make them holy, and so we’re right back where we started.

Also, the rubber band. Holy shit, the usefulness of the rubber band in a Lego reality would be staggering. And here it’s basically getting cast aside.

Is it supposed to represent his human form? And that’s the answer, the artist is forgetting that these guys are experiancing their existence as Lego minifigures and a cross is hardly a working representation of the Minifig form, even in the most abstract form. Only four of the literally thousands of examples of minifigures —Sandy Squril from Sponge Bob Squarpants, and the Black and both Brown Man-Bat figures (released first in the DC Hero line, then the Monster Fighters, then as a blind grab in Minifigure Series 8) have had arms that are horizontal to the trunk. And none of them were released in the Star Wars line of Lego products, and so they’d be alien to these Stormtroopers.

So does it come down to keeping the helmet propped up? If that’s their rational, why isn’t the helmet lashed to the vertical pole? Do they not have more rubber bands? And if that’s a factor, lashing it directly to the vertical pole makes even more sense.

And while we’re on the subject, why are these Stormtroopers fighting by the rules of conventional warfare from the 1940s? That’s never made sense to me. 

Why did the Empire deploy so very far away from Hoth Base and march slowly towards it from miles away? Was it to give the Rebellion a sporting chance to mount a defense and evacuate? And if so, what were the tactical and stratigic advantages of that shit? We’re they attempting to gather intelligence about the Rebellion’s randevous point? And if that’s the case, why aren’t they getting blown to smithereens when Luke is getting his new hand later on. 

Plus, if hyperspace jumps allow for you to gather as a fleet at a point far enough away from and above the galaxy that you can look out the port side window and view it in it’s entirety, doesn’t that make intergalactic travel and colonization are not only possible but practical given the absurdly volatile nature of SW Galactic politics? And if so, why bother having your base in the “remote” Hoth system at all? (Remote being a term made meaningless in a context wherein you’re entire fleet has engines that make a galaxy gazing randevous points feasible) Why not another galaxy entirely? Have it on the Jungle Moon of Bob’s Jungle Planet in the inconspicuous outer spiral arm of the next galaxy over. 

Which brings me to the ecosystems of Star Wars. 

Look. I get it. Having entire celestial body representing by a single biota makes for some quick and dramatic exposition. But it starts to look like lazy writing when you show us your universe filled with bipedial humanoids. Cover them with all the rubber heads you want, bipedal ambulation is a fairly rare evolutionary advantage that often gets double backed upon. The vast majority of the sentiant races in the Star Wars U. are bipedal humanoids. Bipedialism as represented in a humanoid body type is distinct from bipedialism of say, and ostrich, kangaroo or anteater. Of the twelve working theories as to why humans evolved bipedial ambulation, nine of them involve hominid environments at various points where an upright stance was a distinct advantage. Those environments include: savanna, scattered forests, and a simi-aquatic enviroment requiring a shoreline. None of them, at all ever, would explain the humanoid shape of the aquatic Mon Calamari or the Quarran. 

Which is fine in this context, since these are lego minifigures designed to look like humanoids and not humanoids and evolution doesn’t actually enter into it in the reality represented here. It comes down to design. But still. Ugh. It bothers me.

Okay. So. The cross.

Let’s put aside all the other arguments presented thusfar —aside from the fact that the cross has no cultural or religious significance here— and stop fucking around and really focus on the practicality of the cross holding up the helmet. 

We’ll take it all back to design.

Page one. 

So, let’s take it for granted that a cross isn’t the first thought these guys would have for a grave marker. It makes no sense in this context.

So it all comes down to material. They have have (individual significance of the non-Lego elements aside entirely) a helmet, two sticks and a rubber band to make a marker. Why wouldn’t they take the rubber band, wrap it around the top of the stick in a kind of wad and place the helmet on top of that in place of a minifig head? That’s the most sound design. Stable in the wind and rain as rubber would keep the helmet from moving around. Naturally a stiff wind would knock the whole thing over, but that’s a problem with the original too, without the added top-heaviness of the crossbeam. 

Okay. We’ve solved it. Whew. I feel better, and so do you. And we didn’t even get into a needless tangent about the stupidity of the Scout Walker on Endor like I was afraid we might. 

Thank you for your help. I wish I’d put aside some time to research any of this.

But why a cross?

They have no concept of Christ in a Galaxy Far, Far Away — except for His nearest facsimile, Space Jesus, I.E. Darth Vader. Whom in this continuum isn’t someone who rings true as a fella you’d want to revere in a religious, memorial, or funerary context, being that he’s a walking death machine that straight-up murders subordinates for disappointing him. Subordinates such as Stormtroopers.

Also, lashing a crossbeam to the vertical pole seems like a good deal of unnessasry effort for a battlefield burial. Which is one of the reasons why you see this kind of burial marker so often represented as a helmet on top of a rifle in War movies and artwork.

And it’s wasteful of non-lego material in this Lego-fication of the Star Wars Universe. Which might be why they’re using it for their fallen comrade’s memorial, given the rare non-lego stick might be somehow more holy in this context. But if that’s the case, why waste the crossbeam pole on this one solider’s marker when, given the bleakness of the scene, he’s most likely only the first. So why waste two poles on him? If the answer is they have non-lego sticks to spare, well then that detracts from the argument that the scarisity of the non-lego elements make them holy, and so we’re right back where we started.

Also, the rubber band. Holy shit, the usefulness of the rubber band in a Lego reality would be staggering. And here it’s basically getting cast aside.

Is it supposed to represent his human form? And that’s the answer, the artist is forgetting that these guys are experiancing their existence as Lego minifigures and a cross is hardly a working representation of the Minifig form, even in the most abstract form. Only four of the literally thousands of examples of minifigures —Sandy Squril from Sponge Bob Squarpants, and the Black and both Brown Man-Bat figures (released first in the DC Hero line, then the Monster Fighters, then as a blind grab in Minifigure Series 8) have had arms that are horizontal to the trunk. And none of them were released in the Star Wars line of Lego products, and so they’d be alien to these Stormtroopers.

So does it come down to keeping the helmet propped up? If that’s their rational, why isn’t the helmet lashed to the vertical pole? Do they not have more rubber bands? And if that’s a factor, lashing it directly to the vertical pole makes even more sense.

And while we’re on the subject, why are these Stormtroopers fighting by the rules of conventional warfare from the 1940s? That’s never made sense to me.

Why did the Empire deploy so very far away from Hoth Base and march slowly towards it from miles away? Was it to give the Rebellion a sporting chance to mount a defense and evacuate? And if so, what were the tactical and stratigic advantages of that shit? We’re they attempting to gather intelligence about the Rebellion’s randevous point? And if that’s the case, why aren’t they getting blown to smithereens when Luke is getting his new hand later on.

Plus, if hyperspace jumps allow for you to gather as a fleet at a point far enough away from and above the galaxy that you can look out the port side window and view it in it’s entirety, doesn’t that make intergalactic travel and colonization are not only possible but practical given the absurdly volatile nature of SW Galactic politics? And if so, why bother having your base in the “remote” Hoth system at all? (Remote being a term made meaningless in a context wherein you’re entire fleet has engines that make a galaxy gazing randevous points feasible) Why not another galaxy entirely? Have it on the Jungle Moon of Bob’s Jungle Planet in the inconspicuous outer spiral arm of the next galaxy over.

Which brings me to the ecosystems of Star Wars.

Look. I get it. Having entire celestial body representing by a single biota makes for some quick and dramatic exposition. But it starts to look like lazy writing when you show us your universe filled with bipedial humanoids. Cover them with all the rubber heads you want, bipedal ambulation is a fairly rare evolutionary advantage that often gets double backed upon. The vast majority of the sentiant races in the Star Wars U. are bipedal humanoids. Bipedialism as represented in a humanoid body type is distinct from bipedialism of say, and ostrich, kangaroo or anteater. Of the twelve working theories as to why humans evolved bipedial ambulation, nine of them involve hominid environments at various points where an upright stance was a distinct advantage. Those environments include: savanna, scattered forests, and a simi-aquatic enviroment requiring a shoreline. None of them, at all ever, would explain the humanoid shape of the aquatic Mon Calamari or the Quarran.

Which is fine in this context, since these are lego minifigures designed to look like humanoids and not humanoids and evolution doesn’t actually enter into it in the reality represented here. It comes down to design. But still. Ugh. It bothers me.

Okay. So. The cross.

Let’s put aside all the other arguments presented thusfar —aside from the fact that the cross has no cultural or religious significance here— and stop fucking around and really focus on the practicality of the cross holding up the helmet.

We’ll take it all back to design.

Page one.

So, let’s take it for granted that a cross isn’t the first thought these guys would have for a grave marker. It makes no sense in this context.

So it all comes down to material. They have have (individual significance of the non-Lego elements aside entirely) a helmet, two sticks and a rubber band to make a marker. Why wouldn’t they take the rubber band, wrap it around the top of the stick in a kind of wad and place the helmet on top of that in place of a minifig head? That’s the most sound design. Stable in the wind and rain as rubber would keep the helmet from moving around. Naturally a stiff wind would knock the whole thing over, but that’s a problem with the original too, without the added top-heaviness of the crossbeam.

Okay. We’ve solved it. Whew. I feel better, and so do you. And we didn’t even get into a needless tangent about the stupidity of the Scout Walker on Endor like I was afraid we might.

Thank you for your help. I wish I’d put aside some time to research any of this.

These are the tiny abandoned kittens in a box on my wife’s side of the bed. Bekki found them starving when they were just a week old.

They are the 16th and 17th animals she’s saved since we’ve gotten together.

My wife is a goddamn hero.

These are the tiny abandoned kittens in a box on my wife’s side of the bed. Bekki found them starving when they were just a week old.

They are the 16th and 17th animals she’s saved since we’ve gotten together.

My wife is a goddamn hero.